9 days old

it has been 9 days old since i gave birth to our little angel, Safiyya Amani. it has been 9 days ago i suffered fruitlessly in the labour room for 5 horrible & traumatizing hours. it has been 9 days since i started breastfeeding the little princess till my nipples swell, bleed and hurt like hell. it has been 9 days for me to hold the 'mama' title officially.. and in that 9 days, i cried, i woke up few times in the middle of the night, i tolerated with the safiyya's daily screaming for attention and going thru the emotional-hormone related roller coaster!

the 9 days of extraordinary events that took place leaves me with gratitude towards Allah for destined me the best hubby any wife could ask for! thank you sayang.. and my thanks started from the day you accept me as your wife, all the supports that u've given during the pregnancy, staying by my side throughout the 3 times induction process, trying to feel the pain like i do, the du'as and prayers for my safety and a whole lot more in the future.
i will always love you

Ya Allah, guide us to ur blessings in every move we r choosing.

25th July 2010 

after the 5 agonizing hours, writhing in indescribable painfulness, by 3 o'clock in the afternoon, kaseh2 hati determined to let me undergo cesarean. after all, 5 oc'lock would mark the time limit given by dactor bahiah and 3 cm is a long way to 10 cm!

the nurse prepared me for the c-sect process, gave kaseh2 hati a paper on anesthetics available, and wheeled me to the operation theatre. i couldn't think straight. contractions came in every few seconds. kaseh2 hati opted half-body epidural.

in the OT. i was alone without my significant other. it was an emergency according to the nurse. the anaesthetist, Dr Suraya injected me with epidural. i could feel the numbness spreed to my toes. the pain was gone instantly. it was a big relief! Alhamdulillah.

i was laid down on the bed, the room was bright with the white light. i felt nothing. the procedure was about to start. my emotion was numb too, just like my lower part of the body.

i have no idea for how long i stared at the white ceiling. i was wide awake. my hands were shaking because of the epidural. the chatters ( doctors n nurses) voice seemed far away.

the baby was out. Dr Yasmin the paediatrician took the baby out for some procedures. to check whether the baby is ok or not. then they brought the baby to me. its a girl. my Safiyya Amani is in healthy. down there, they were stitching my tummy.. Alhamdulillah.. its over.
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i dont know whether i'm able to undergo the pain again or not.. i'll let the time heal my fear and decide later. :)

and by the way, Safiyya Amani was born at 4.16 pm, and weight at 3.41 kg.